Less talk, more action...please!

I am sick and tired of everyone lashing out at politicians for the security lapse concerning the recent terrorist attacks on India's business capital. I am not backing the actions of politicians, but merely questioning the importance of this finger-pointing post the event. What is the rationale behind this so-called rational anger?

Yes, we have suffered casualties and we should mourn them. However, let us remind ourselves every day that we cannot afford to have repeat telecasts of this gory episode.

By blaming the establishment, we are giving them the upper hand and letting them continue to believe that we need them for our safety and well-being. We don't!! The politicians of our country should be made to realise that they are dispensable and they are! After all, aren't the cemeteries of the world are full of indispensable men?

That Narendra Modi came to south Bombay, and was also followed by Vilasrao Deshmukh has become a furore. That L K Advani and Manmohan Singh came separately instead of coming together has become a talking point in most of the channels.

What is the point of all this now? What was the point of all this even when the commandos were fighting it out? We know we have elected an incompetent bunch and that even the other parties have leaders who seem more interested in getting to those coveted chairs, but not in doing anything to make it worth each vote that helped them get there.

Time and again, politicians have been an easy target of public ire but their thick skin prevents our pain from tugging at their hearts. So let us not waste our justifiable anger, energy, time and even thoughts on these angels with a facade.

Rather, the need of the hour is a focused approach to channelise this energy and wrath to bring out practical solutions to ensure that we don't have to endure such barbaric incidents again. What we also need to do is ensure that India and Bombay (I still love to call her Bombay) regain their true cosmopolitan nature and not be coerced by a radical who today wants to create a divisive Bombay or others who have forever played religious politics.

I do not know what the pragmatic solutions are. I hope this post generates a discussion where people contribute ideas to make this country a better place to live in. My suggestions might sound naive, but I want to list my thoughts here with the hope that a group of people capable of making these decisions, stumble on this blog and strive to create a difference.  Let me assure you that my contribution towards making a positive difference will be unrelenting!

Here are some of the questions that need answers:

• Is private governance a possibility? What are its pros and cons?
  
• Why not let corporations handle various cities or at least parts of cities like the Tatas manage Jamshedpur?
  
• Isn't it high time we amended our constitution after having almost entirely absorbed the British constitution in 1948?
  
• Can we have a judicial system that will deliver speedy justice?
  
• Can we have a sound law and order system that will ensure that the guilty are indeed brought to the book and not circumvent the long winding legal system?
  
• National security is of paramount importance. Will it be given in the hands of someone capable?
  
• Can we finally move towards ensuring that the real needs of the masses are met, rather than playing religious and vote bank politics?
  
• Can we please have a plan to address various concerns plaguing our country today?
  
• Can we also have people accountable for their duty?
  
• Can we have deadlines for all that we plan to do and actually be transparent about their completion or otherwise?
  
• Can we have better infrastructure and not build bridges and transport systems that take decades to complete?
  
• Can we please have less talk and more constructive action?

It is high time!!!

Mumbai kiske baap ka hai?

I thought long and hard, whether I should even write this post. But the relentless acts of terrorism drove me to vent my feelings. Recently, to A N Roy's comment that "Mumbai kisi ke baap ka nahi hai," Raj Thackeray said, "come to the road after you take your uniform off and you will see Mumbai kiske baap ka hai."

Sorry Raj, you couldn't be further from the truth. Apart from a few of the local Mumbai cops who probably are Maharastrians, Mumbai's security is today being handled by the Army and the NSG, in addition to the RPF and other security agencies. The dadagiri of his Marathi manoos mob was nowhere to be seen. He sure realised they would not have the impact on the terrorists that they usually have on the hapless yet tolerant Mumbaikars.

At the time of writing this post, the Taj has been evacuated with one injured terrorist still in and firing rounds. Parts of the heritage building has been ablaze for long and restoration of its splendour will take quite some time. However the burns and scars on the psyche of the average Mumbaikar will take a long time to even begin healing.

Questions have been raised on how the 20-25 terrorists entered the city and how they have managed to survive for so long. 

However the imperative questions are:

• When are we (Mumbai and India) going to be well-equipped to handle a crisis?
  
• Are we so spineless that we believe we are condemned to such an inept polity?

Be it the regular floods during the monsoon, or the several dastardly acts of terrorism - why are we willing to put up with the inefficiencies of the government and lead a normal life the very next minute? Time and again the media has hyped the 'spirit of Mumbai' and many of us will feel proud that we are part of it.

Who are we fooling? The false sense of pride we possess just because we got back on our feet and headed to our workplaces, schools and colleges immediately is ludicrous. I have a request to the media: please don't extol the spirit of Mumbai anymore. We don't need it.

What we need is a mass awakening! One that shakes the very roots of this country's democracy and gives her its true meaning with purposeful politicians at the helm. Our national security has become a joke and with an imbecile in Shivraj Patil as the home minister and a seemingly impotent prime minister - who I think is best suited to only being the finance minister - I fear for our country!

Make no mistake, I am not anti-UPA or pro-BJP or for or against any other party. All I want is a good samaritan who will not let us down when in despair. Today, we are stuck between the devil and the dead sea with no credible options in sight. We live in perpetual hope that the next government will make things better and each time we are disappointed. I am almost despondent with our current state of affairs and there is truly a need for a messiah!

I know for a fact that in a day or at the most two, Mumbai will be bounce back to normal! But I don't want her to. Public memory is known to be short, but I want the scars to remain fresh for a really long time. Only then will we even act. We need to do something to show our solidarity but enough of the subtlety. No, I am not propogating violence to achieve this, but the educated folks can definitely think of dignified and innovative ways to let our anguish be known. If we show that Mumbai and India wont take nonsense anymore from our leaders, they are bound to take notice and behave themselves better and actually do some good sooner rather than later.

Let us not be selfish and look only to our lives. Let us work towards building a better tomorrow for ourselves and the others around us. The US could do it after 9/11 and I am sure we can do the same if we are selfless and want to live in a city that deserves a lot more than it gets now.

My heart reaches out to the families of the martyrs. It is also noteworthy that the employees of the Taj and the Oberoi epitomised the spirit of the hospitality industry and ensured that their guests were safe as much as possible. I thank all of you on behalf of this magnificent city.

AN Roy's words still ring in my ears - "Mumbai kisike baap ka nahi hai." He meant it differently in a separate context, and he is right - I feel Mumbai is that orphan for whom nobody cares!

Some doubts

With the world in financial turmoil, it is said that all nations are in debt. What I am unable to understand, if everyone owes someone else money, where did all the money go?

I recently went to a Food Bazaar and lost my way to find myself in the pets area. My eyes immediately went to a packet of dog food. It said, "new, improved and tasty". I ask, who tests it?

Late this Sunday evening, I decided to watch the Leonardo DiCaprio movie, the Aviator. I was reminded of the fact that the black box of an aircraft is indestructible and cannot be damaged during a plane crash. Why did no one think of making the entire airplane of that material?

With IPR (Intellectual Property Rights) gaining prominence in recent times, this is an interesting thought. Who copyrighted the copyright symbol? © I think I should copyright this ingenious question!!

Somebody please help me with this; beats me! Is it possible to cry under water?

A pack of stray dogs in my colony are invariably lazing and basking in the sun. They probably are the laziest of all animals (Apologies dog-lovers, this is just an observation). Isn't it then unfair that people say, "you have been working like a dog," when all these faithful friends do, is sit around all day?

I would love some answers....you got any?

Wonder phrases

With not many throwing rotten eggs and tomatoes on me, I once again take the risk of putting up few more ‘Wonder Phrases’. You would have heard the more common, “If money doesn’t grow on trees, why do banks have branches?” Here are some more in the same genre.

• Is it fruitless to have vegetables?
  
• Ever wondered why funeral starts with the word fun?
  
• Can you enjoy a party fully?
  
• Can you expect a high-rise of flats?
  
• Why doesn’t lipstick do what it is meant to?
  
• If a deaf person were summoned to court, would it still be called a hearing?
  
• How is that you are still sitting, when you already sat?
  
• Why is it called a building when it is already built?
  
• In a stadium, why do they call it the stands, when you sit there?
  
• Is a dyslexic poet inverse?

Positivity

Today, on my way back home from work, I had an interesting conversation with my colleague Gayatri (who was kind enough to offer me a ride home in her BMW).

She was telling me of the dialogue she had with her 5-year old son a few days ago. Her son, probably the youngest of the children in the colony, came to her in a fit of anger. He was being bullied by another kid; justifiably, Tarun was venting his feelings to his mother.

“Ma, I don’t like Nikhil. He pushed me to the ground today, did not let me bat and also made fun of me. Tomorrow, you give me a sharp knife and I will go and kill him." Now, let us not get into a discussion of how television and movies have created a bad impact on kids and blah! One, I don’t believe in that statement and two, that is not the point of this post.

Gone are the days when the mother would scold or beat her child to knock some sense and discipline into his/her head. (Russell Peters might disagree, as he advocates parents beating their kids to prevent them from being social outcasts; but this too, is not important here.) What amazed me was the way Gayatri chose to handle this situation.

It would have been very easy for her to rebuke her child and get angry with him for speaking in the manner he did. But she chose to sidestep the matter for a short while. Having fed him dinner and finishing her motherly chores, she broached the topic again at bedtime. She then gave him an evil idea, which only an ingenious mother could have thought of.

“Tarun, forget the knife and killing Nikhil. I’ll give you a better idea. Tomorrow, you complain to Nikhil’s mother and tell her how he is troubling you. She will then get angry with him and hide all his toys. I am sure he will feel sorry and next time he will behave better with you,” she told him.

Oh, the joy on the child’s face - priceless! And the idea, a masterstroke!

My reinforcement: A positive approach and a positive mindset will have far reaching effects on one’s life. We can always find a well-disposed and innovative solution to all issues in life. The important thing is to look for it!

..because English is a very phunny language!

Like most, I too have always wondered what is the ideal way to begin a blog. And like most, I still do not have a clue. However, I have procrastinated enough to procrastinate again, and here I am once more, without a clue as to what is going to follow this sentence.

I stopped there for about 3 minutes, before continuing to write this line. I have a list of topics I want to blog on, ranging from daily events, acute to obtuse observations, my personal take on cricket (which I have longed to do), to writing short tips on anything that crosses my mind.

I was suddenly reminded of Amitabh's "I can walk English, I can talk English, I can laugh English because English is a very phunny language. Bhairon becomes barren and barren becomes Bhairon because their minds are very narrow..." (wont list the full dialogue here, as you might already know it or can google it if you are that interested) and thought why not that be the title and the content of my first post? Voila, here I am finally with the thoughts in full flow.

I just planned to list some of my favourite English phrases. They border on being PJs (poor/pakau jokes, not pajamas!), nevertheless, worth a read. I hope they appeal to you just as they did to me.

Not all sentences make grammatical sense, but they are well worth a laugh. Here are the Wonder Phrases!

• Is bar hopping, a joint venture?
  
• How much do you save when you get a free gift?
  
• Why are a slim chance and a fat chance the same?
  
• Have you noticed that it is in the rush hour, that the traffic moves the slowest!
  
• There is no place to lie down, in a public rest room.
  
• Do undertakers work in a graveyard shift?
  
• Ever wondered why noses run and feet smell?
  
• I’d love to take a crash course in flying.
  
• Why do people say bye bye and not hello hello?
  
• Why are wise man and wise guy opposites?
  
• If ‘pros’ and ‘cons’ are supposed to be opposites, is prostitution the opposite of constitution?
  
• When guests leave your dinner party, are they fed up?
  
• ‘Needless to say’ is always followed up with something said.
  
• Do you bite your tongue, when you say something tongue in cheek?
  
• Are we sound asleep when we snore?
  
• Shouldn’t the bride be marrying the best man?
  
• Would you buy a dead battery, free of charge?
  
• A will is a dead giveaway.
  
• Do people actually sit down during the day and sit up late at night?
  
• Should we use the ring finger to press the doorbell?
  
• What is the difference between new and brand new?
  

English is a 'punny' language and I love to identify the subtlety in it. I am all ears for those, who like me, have an eye for detail. Feedback will be well taken, however, criticism will be shunned and insulted! Awaiting your comments!